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03.28.2002

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03.28.2002: Etiquette Schmetiquette
common-sense manners
for real-world living
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1 2 3

Engagement parties...
Q:
My boyfriend and I have been invited to attend an engagement party for one of his co-workers. My question is, are we required to bring a gift? If so, what kind of a gift would be good? I don’t know these people well enough to know what they’d like or need.

Thanks, Kimberley

A: First of all, let me state that I’m of the opinion that gifts should never, ever be required – to view the act of gift-giving as mandatory takes just a little something away from the generosity aspect of the gesture, doesn’t it? 
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But at an engagement party especially, gifts are generally not expected, since the couple typically has both the bridal shower and the wedding itself to allow for ample opportunity for a deluge of gifts. Toss in the factor that you’re apparently not close friends with the bride-and-groom-to-be, and I’m sure no one would bat an eyelash if you arrived with nothing more to offer than a sincere congratulations and good wishes. If, however, you just don’t feel right arriving empty-handed, a small token gift – a nice bottle of champagne or wine, for instance – is appropriate for just about any occasion, and would no doubt be much appreciated.

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more etiquette quandaries: paying for out-of-town wedding guests? 

 

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