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a home + living guide for the post-college, pre-parenthood, quasi-adult generation

04.12.2007

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oh baby!
the clueless quasi-adult's guide to hosting a baby shower

by Yee-Fan Sun
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1 2 3 4
continued from page 3

etiquette etc.
Finally, a few etiquette points that might not occur to you if you’re nowhere near the wanting-a-baby stage of life yourself…

  • Hands to yourself. Please don’t reach out and touch that oh-so-temptingly adorable baby bump. I know, I know; it’s round, it’s lovely; your pregnant friend constantly rubs her hand over it, in a way that just begs you to do the same. Trust me, unless you know her very, very, VERY well and are 100% certain that she’s the sort of touchy-feely person who welcomes physical contact from one and all, don’t even ask whether it’s okay. Admire from a distance, and resist touching unless explicitly invited to do otherwise.
  • Size matters. Hold back from commenting on your friend’s size in general. Pregnant women sometimes get rather sensitive about the size of their belly. If they’ve always maintained strict control of their figure they may well be conflicted about their expanding waistline; if they’re not terribly big for how far along they are, they might be worried that they aren’t showing “enough”. A warm, sincere, “Wow, look how great you look all pregnant!” is a much more diplomatic acknowledgment of her changing appearance than either “Oh my gosh, you’re huge!” or “Aww, you're so tiny ... you barely look pregnant at all!”
  • No assumptions… A little sensitivity when interacting with other guests at the party might also be in order. As a young 20something experiencing the excitement of friends having babies for the first time, or maybe a 30something who’s entertaining baby thoughts of one’s own, it’s easy to get caught up in the baby fever, and assume all those around you are as well. It might seem natural to ask other people at the party if they’ll be hopping on the baby train soon. Which seems innocent enough, except that it assumes that everyone wants kids eventually, and that anyone who doesn’t currently have them must not feel ready for them yet.

o o o

Keep these few things in mind, and a fabulous, relaxing get-together will be enjoyed by mom-to-be, hosts, and all!

o
check out these related articles:
brunch time | tea and toast | surviving the bridal shower

 

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