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shacking up moving in with a significant other
by Yee-Fan Sun
| 1 2

So it's been eight months, a year, three and a half, whatever, since you and a certain someone first met over a failed synthesis in chem lab, reached for the same slice of banana cream pie at the dining hall, traded witticisms at your favorite bar, and the fireworks began. You're madly in love, and pretty much spend every night together at one or the other of your pads. You start realizing that you're throwing away a lot of money each month, paying for two separate places. Maybe, just maybe, it's time to shack up. But before you say goodbye to your current roomies and begin perusing the rent ads for that perfect love nest, there are a few things you really should consider…

ready or not…?
Yes, there are a multitude of practical reasons why living together might seem like a sensible idea. You and your honey might be in the market for new digs at the same time; your current roommate might decide to move in with his girlfriend, leaving you with a spare room to fill, and a significant other who's willing to do so. Still, choosing to live together should be a decision that's based on something more than pure convenience. It might seem like a monumental hassle to have to do the great roommate search, but it's nowhere near as excruciating as having to continue to share an apartment with a person you've just broken up with, simply because neither of you has anywhere else to go. Seriously, feeling too lazy to interview roommates is not, in and of itself, the strongest basis on which to move your relationship to the next level of commitment. Moving in together is a big, big step in a relationship, and jumping into it before you're both emotionally and psychologically ready is a really fabulous way to sabotage an otherwise promising thing you've got going.

For one thing, sharing house means sharing bills -- and that means becoming financially tied together for the first time. Your sweetie's lavish spending might have seemed romantic back in the days when you were just enjoying all the swanky restaurants and pricey gifts, but when you realize that it sometimes means there's not enough money for little things like, oh, rent, you suddenly find yourself turning into the annoying nag who's always chiding about money.

mosey along this way partner


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