still eating hors-díoeuvres left over from my New Yearís eve party.
Tapenade and hummus and stale ciabatta bread. Cold fancy pizzas.
Artichoke dip and raw veggies, which I occasionally call cruditťs, much
to Ashís amusement (he thinks itís pretentious). The dips arenít
doing much to help me in my resolution to shrink my ever-expanding
thighs, but Iím trying not to obsess about the matter too much, since
thereís nothing I find more tedious than a non-obese person who
refuses to eat good food simply because theyíre being vain.
I always overcook for parties. I think itís my subconscious way of
dealing with the stress of not knowing whether everyone that shows up
will mingle easily and happily, of fighting off those nightmares that no
one will show up at all. Food I can control; fun just has to happen.
Frankly I still find that a little scary. Cooking comes naturally to me,
but being the perfect hostess Ė relaxed, ever-charming, completely
unflappable Ė this Iím still working towards.
Actually, thereís a lot Iím still working towards, and this being
that resolutions-making time of year, theyíve been on my mind:
- Be a better hostess. Not perfect, because I suspect you have to be
born to that, but Iíll be happy if I can throw a party without
once worrying whether people are secretly plotting the most polite
way of saying bye-bye.
- Eat well, lose weight. And by well I mean exactly that: good food,
tasty food, food that isnít always perfectly "healthy."
An impossibility, you say? Well I guess weíll see. I still donít
believe in diets but I am committed to getting my daily dose
of exercise, and learning to eat only when hungry. And if I still
stay this weight, Iíll be content to accept that this is just the
size Iím meant to be. I swear.
- Do the dishes immediately after meals, vacuum weekly, dust
monthly, clean the toilet bowl before itís so nasty I can
barely stand to look at it. Yes, Mom, Iím sure youíre horrified
that these are goals I have to work towards, but what can I say.
Iím a chaos-magnet. Neatness and cleanliness do not come naturally
- Wean myself off bad TV. Don't get me wrong -- I love the boob
tube. I'll still plan my schedule around Buffy/Angel every
Tuesday night. But surely I can put those hours I waste on, oh, say Roswell,
to more constructive use, right?
- Get out of the house more. Because much as I love my nest,
thereís a great, big, wonderful world outside, and I donít see
nearly enough of it.
So there. I've got me some goals. (I give it a month before I revert
to my evil old ways Ö)
past editor's notes | 08.28.2000
lounge . nourish
. host . laze
. home .