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be the perfect host/ess
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no reply card ... Much less a
pre-stamped sort of anything. Also? No phone number or address anywhere
on the invitation to which I might send the response. I managed to track
down the brides & grooms to let them know I would be attending the
weddings, but they seemed put out with me that I didn't send a note
instead (actually going so far as to tell me "Well, the address was
on the envelope the invitations were sent in; why didn't you use
that?") HUH? When I asked
a co-worker about it, I was told that this is the "most
formal" manner in which an RSVP may be sent. Am I just that out of
the loop, or is this new, different, and irritating? I concede to your
greater wisdom, but I know my Emily Post doesn't say anything about this
trend. Thanks in advance for your help. But, see, here's a prime example of what I call Dumb Etiquette. I am all for living by a set of social conventions that help us all get along, that make everyone's lives a little nicer, more pleasant — civilized, if you will. But slavish devotion to rules that don't do a damn thing for improving the quality of our societal interactions — when the rules in fact seem to serve no purpose other than to make the follower feel all hoity-toity about how "classy" (cringe; see "well-bred," above) they are for abiding by them — well frankly that, to me, is just moronic. The fact is that these days, the majority of wedding invitations arrive with a handy reply card. It makes things easier for the guests; it ups the odds for the betrothed couple that they'll actually get replies. Everyone wins. If a bride and groom choose not to include one in their invitation package then that is, of course, their perfect prerogative, but they should most certainly not, then, be surprised at all to discover that many of their guests will be rather confused about where the heck it is, exactly, replies should be sent, or in what manner. You went to the effort of letting both couples know whether or not you'd be attending, thus adhering to their request for "the honor of a response" (which, if we're getting picky about formalities here, reads a little strangely; I'd think "favor" would be a more appropriate word choice), so as far as I'm concerned, any miffed-ness on the part of the couples is pretty damn silly, quite a lot petty, and not a small amount rude. Good manners aren't really about being right, but about being gracious. o read more etiquette q+a ---------------------------> lounge . nourish . host . laze . home . |
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