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I've
decided that even if they do "cease" and #3 moves out,
I'm still going to ask my roomie to find new digs on the grounds
that she got me in hot water with my landlord. I also want to
boot her because of her initial dishonesty about the boyfriend
situation, which I thought I could get over but makes me angrier
by the minute.
Am I out of line? It's hard to tell because I've felt really
angry and betrayed by this situation for months now and had
given up hope for getting out of it any time soon (I promised my
landlord that I wouldn't move out and leave the place to her
because he asked me not to because he thinks she's overly
demanding...and I have to say he's right). ---Starting
to Feel Vindicated
A:
If the situation with your roommate has gotten to
the point where you can’t even think about her without getting
steamed, I’d think it would be in the best interests for both
of you if she moved out. You shouldn’t have to feel pissy
everytime you come home and see her sitting there (or worse yet,
sitting there with the boyfriend, who, even if he does get his
own pad, will no doubt continue to show up in your digs from
time to time); she, presumably, wouldn’t want to continue
living with a roommate who glares at her every time the two of
you make eye contact. Is it fair, exactly, to boot her out even
if she and the boyfriend both agree that he’ll move out and
find his own damn digs? Not exactly, since (and I’m assuming
she’s co-signed the lease with you) technically, she has just
as much of a legal right to live there right along with you, so
long as she complies with the landlord’s cease notice. On the
other hand, it was completely unfair of her to put you in this
situation in the first place – something which you’d
certainly noted to her before, when you asked her moocher of a
boyfriend to at least start contributing to the living expenses.
So let’s forget about fair. At this point, it just seems
clear that the two of you are not compatible as roommates, and
that continuing to share the same space would be unpleasant for
all parties involved. To me, it just makes sense for the two of
you to sit down and talk about this together. Be honest, be
straightforward, be firm. If you make it clear just how angry
you are with her that she’s managed to get you into this
situation, that the damage she’s done to your relationship is
irreversible, and that you will never be able to trust her as a
roommate again, it seems perfectly sensible to suggest to her
then that it would be a good idea for her to start looking for
new accommodations — so that both of you can feel happy
in your own, separate homes.
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